The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
