My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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