I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
