Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Sober January is a disaster.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize