I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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