you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
