My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
