Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize