i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
