I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Randomize
