i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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