It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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