All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
