Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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