She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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