whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
