uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
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