Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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