is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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