I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
