Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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