just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
