the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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