HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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