Plan B is the new Plan A
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
