i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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