jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Drunk is a universal language darling
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
