can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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