oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize