I wish life had little blips of pornography
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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