As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
