everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Randomize
