Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
