what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My pussy is not your playground.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
What drink are we having for lunch?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize