redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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