Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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