She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
cat food counts as protein by the way
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize