so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Someone came in the potted fern
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
