it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
