woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i out mim tonsoeep
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
