Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
