What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
