I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Oh god it's open bar.
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