Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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