Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
