im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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