Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
