honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
