How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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