My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
