just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
