will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
