I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
