She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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