So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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