did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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