he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
