Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
