just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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