I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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