if you like me you must not know who I am
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My balls are so social today.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
