I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
