Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
